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Exclusive: Red Hot Chilli Benchers
Posted 6/10/2006 by legalweekblogs.com SU
It's the sexiest legal story since Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer announced it was lowering its mandatory neckline for female staff by half a centimetre in 1976.
The nation was this week foaming at its collective mouth over the red-hot blackmail case involving two immigration judges and a Brazilian maid, which forced the Department for Constitutional Affairs to issue an appropriately red-faced statement.
The Diary can now exclusively bring you that statement in full for the very first time:
“The Lord Chancellor and Lord Chief Justice strongly believe the public must have confidence in judges and take seriously any allegations against them, particularly if they involve lashings of sordid sex romps and naughty Brazilian maids.
"Having considered carefully in great saucy detail the issues that have arisen over the conduct of two immigration judges following the trial of Ms Roselane Sizzler, they have concluded there are sufficient grounds to ask the Judicial Complaints Office to carry out a preliminary investigation, even though there haven’t been any actual complaints.
“This will enable them to determine whether there should be an interim investigation, ahead of the ultimate sanction: a full investigation, which can lead to a very severe ticking off (but probably won’t).
“In particular the Lord Chancellor and Lord Chief Justice are concerned that, while a considerable amount of fruity allegations of injudicious ribaldry have been plastered all over the broadsheets, there is a general feeling that there could be more and that we would all like to hear about them.
“Neither judge will be sitting in their judicial capacity whilst these investigations are ongoing, although they will, of course, be collecting their six-figure salaries while we string this out until everyone has forgotten about it.
“On a more general note, the Lord Chancellor and Lord Chief Justice have great confidence in the professionalism and high standards of the judiciary as a whole and would like to assure the public that most of us – since we are well into our 70s – are getting by on rather less drugs and sex than the man in the street."
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