Daily Diary

2007: The Diary predicts... (part two)

Posted 4/01/2007 by legalweekblogs.com SU

And you thought it would be all about Carter, Clementi, MDPs and PEP.

Okay, so we didn't actually predict Tim Emmerson's shock move to Sullivan & Cromwell, news of which emerged this morning - although Legal Week was on the story so fast our Breaking News dispatch was reaching inboxes around the City by 9.50am. But we have all the year's other big moves right here for you - in advance and in unnervingly precise detail - so sit back, enjoy...and then get down the bookies to mortgage the farm on these upcoming developments.

July
To celebrate Independence Day in the US, a string of American firms simultaneously close their costly London offices on 4 July. One US partner interrupts his packing long enough to tell Legal Week: “This is a celebration of our core values of concentrating on US law and sticking it to the imperialist aggressors once again. It is categorically not about saving a few bucks before the dollar is overtaken by chocolate buttons as a viable currency."

August
In their rush to tell anyone who will listen that they are busier than ever and the summer slowdown is a thing of the past, City lawyers forget to do any work at all in the month of August.

Meanwhile, senior barristers report that it is “business as usual”, saying the concept of a slowdown requires actually having some work to do for the other 11 months of the year.

September
The arms race in legal education steps up a gear as it emerges that Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer has signed an exclusive agreement with Eton for the college to provide all its pupils with a firm-specific curriculum from the age of 13.

Meanwhile, Nigel Knowles’ unofficial sequel to Sun Tzu’s 'The Art of War' – entitled 'Know-les Your Enemy: Crushing The Magic Circle In Five Easy Steps' – enters the Amazon.com bestseller list at number 14,630.

October
The City grinds to a halt as a stray email about disgruntled associates padding their laundry bills after spilling ketchup in each other’s shoes during an office liaison finds its way to the inboxes of thousands of colleagues, clients and legal journalists in a matter of minutes.

“The firm has dealt with this privately and the matter is now closed,” says a spokesman for the firm involved.

“This is exactly the sort of thing email was invented for,” says everyone else.

November
Herbert Smith signals a dramatic shift in its overseas strategy by sending out joint Christmas cards with long-term alliance partners Gleiss Lutz and Stibbe. “This illustrates that our practices can co-operate effectively on the largest and most complex transactions,” beams senior partner David Gold, adding that the stamps were bought using a single pooled fund paid for by partners at all three firms.

However, the firm’s thunder is stolen somewhat by the seamless seasonal service offered by Linklaters, which has sent out its Christmas cards in August in a pre-emptive demonstration of its forward-thinking dynamism.

December
Chaos erupts at the Slaughter and May end-of-year party when a ‘tired and emotional’ Nigel Boardman tells anyone within earshot they are his “bestest friend in the whole world” – plunging the magic circle firm’s network of elite independents into temporary confusion.

The firm later issues a statement saying its actual best friends remain very much as they were and the firm will not be drinking again for the foreseeable future.